Empathy

All was well until the last 48 hours when I stopped dead in my tracks coming home to a 60 day notice to vacate posted on my door. I have been a good resident, obsessively organized, quiet and I pay rent right on time each month. I have never been late on a single payment. There was no reason to ease me out. Absolutely none. How I wish I had more poise to handle curve balls like this, but I immediately went into deep places of fear and numbed out.

Today, I am aware that when I feel nothing is precisely when need to get to work. I got honest with my best friend on the phone who, if anything at all, showered me with love by sharing the shock. I met with two girlfriends in Starbucks for emotional support and cheesecake for ammo. I reached out to him who is my steady, loving shoulder and allowed myself to be vulnerable. I sought feedback for what could have been my part and mindfully gathered information on how to take the next step, whatever that was. I was overwhelmed and needed to get out of my own way.

I pulled out my tools: friends, honesty, willingness and surrender. Sure enough the answer presented itself clearly. In all the conversations I had yesterday, one thing was conveyed to me: Empathy. The friends I reached out to made time to sit with me, listen thoroughly, relate. All that propped me up. Each one rallied behind and assured me of my stance which filled me to the brim with gratitude for their presence in my life. Their words and actions carried me through as I went home to type a heartfelt letter to my landlord. I truthfully told him of the diminishing affect the notice had on me and how I wished he had communicated in a manner that was not as drastic. I reminded him of the mutual respect we shared for each other and then thanked him for having us rent his home. I committed to leave with dignity, grace and utmost decorum. Then, I wished him well. I meant it too.

With that kind of support, I knew I was going to be alright.

By morning, an email came in with an apology for (essentially) making me his dumpsite. There were other reasons that drove the impulsive decision to make me leave, he said. His loan modification was denied and he needed more money, was all panicked and fearful. But, he said it wasn't my fault and that he wanted me to stay after all.

It is not necessary to tell you where I am in all this today. But, I am amazed by the ability of the heart to turn upon the slightest sprinkling of empathy.

Sometimes when life shocks us with the unimaginable and overwhelming, all we need to do is reach out to the ones who love us. We allow ourselves to be vulnerable and we nestle in the comfort of not having to do "life" alone anymore. Then we pass it on. 

The world is our mirror. 

And the images are beautiful.